Schadenfreude

Apropos of Nothing

September 20, 2006
7 Comments

Yep, I’ve registered my own domain which is being hostd by the very excellent Dreamhost, so why don’t you all direct your browsers to my brand new blog, now entitled Apropos of Nothing.

It’s not that I disliked Schadenfreude, but I wanted something new. Disagree? Tell me on Apropos of Nothing!

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Blasts from the Past

May 18, 2006
2 Comments

Here’s a bunch of IRC quotes from bash.org to amuse you. Sorry I haven’t blogged in a while, but I went quite tired of it and want to spend time elsewhere. This will cheer you up, anyway…

#99060 +(18677)- [X]
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say…
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON”T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

#5300 +(14641)- [X]
YOU ALL SUCK DICK
er.
hi.
A common typo.
the keys are like right next to each other.

#287414 +(13618)- [X]
haha, last night, me and pete went out to celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
we got this great idea to bury eachother in the sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
took about a half hour, but the water got up to my face so i freaked and got out
i looked around for pete and he must’ve chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
What’d he say when he woke up this morning?
uhh.. he hasn’t come home yet.. i thought he was staying with you?
holy fuck.
i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking right now
im fucking going back to the beach to make sure
if he gets home, call me, i don’t want to be worrying about this
will do. you better hope he’s not still buried, you’ll be in deep shit.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken’s going to be worrying about this shit all day
haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
fucking ken
ken… that fucker buried me in the sand last night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be an idiot
pete, ken didn’t come back last night, i thought he was with you.
oh fuck.
if ken shows up, make sure he doesn’t know that im at the beach digging for his body. i don’t want him to think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise when they meet at the beach.
i can’t beleive how perfect their timing was

#207373 +(11224)- [X]
oh man
I was opening a coke, right
–> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
and it exploded
ALMOST all over my keyboard
but I got it away just in time
: what should I give sister for unzipping?
Um. Ten bucks?
no I mean like, WinZip?

#21516 +(8946)- [X]
I want to fuck Michelle’s brains out with my huge fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too.
Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?
I’ll fucking KILL YOU! !
Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she’d be pretty angry right?
Dude you have no fucking clue, don’t seriously… you’d be ruining my life.
Don’t worry, I won’t post it.
[Privmsg] Hey dude, I’m gonna paste something – will you post it on bash.org?
[Privmsg] the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!!
[Privmsg] hehe his mom’s gonna fucking kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.
[Privmsg] yeah and then he’s gonna come fucking kill us, still I reckon it’s worth it;)
[Privmsg] You’re not gonna post it are you ? Please don’t .. I’m begging you.
[Privmsg] I’m not gonna post it:) and even if I did she’d never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .
[Privmsg] *phew* spose you have a point

#9322 +(8368)- [X]
Ouroboros: lets play Pong
Ok.
| .
. |
| .
. |
| .
| .
Whoops

#9501 +(8245)- [X]
It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite….in the other…you go by the chat alias “Randerson”…spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest…
One of these…has a future.
LMAO OMFG where’s the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
How can you use the phone when you cannot…speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m

#171987 +(7581)- [X]
Im going to be the next hitler
Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
why the clown
See? no one cares about the jews
lmao

#142934 +(7360)- [X]
docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in fucking EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our fucking phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: …!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you’ll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I’m from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)


Penetrating My Private Parts (you guessed it: punfest)

March 30, 2006
1 Comment

I get a lot of spam, and I’m sure you do too. Right now I’ve got 954 of them sitting in my spam folder. It doesn’t usually bother me as it’s mostly picked up by the spam filter, but in the last few days and weeks I’ve been getting all sorts of spam in my inbox. They’re as blatantly spamerific as any other e-mail that does get picked up by the filter, so why these e-mails have has recently managed to penetrate the system beats me (puns intended, indeed).

And now, some SEXUAL-EXPLICITNESS for your perusal.

hi,
video with little girls which sit on man’s shocking size kokz
it’s unreal sizes ;-)

I even got a little story! Unfortunately, though, it ends up in a flurry of indistinguishable phrases, which I can only assume to be the writer having his wiener smacked to the keyboard in an integral facet of him and his girlfriend’s weekly S&M bout. That, or the story depicted in this little novel is in fact a guy live-blogging himself. Oh, these spammers. They’re all nuts!

Behold the ‘orrible Faggot!

drowned in the ensuing uproar. The police ran to the Sempleyarovs’ box, curious spectators climbed on to the ledge to watch, there were explosions of infernal laughter and wild cries, drowned by the golden crash of cymbals from the orchestra. Suddenly the stage was empty. The horrible Faggot and the sinister cat Behemoth melted into the air and disappeared, just as the magician had vanished earlier in his shabby armchair. Ivan swung his legs off the bed and stared. A man was standing on the balcony, peering cautiously into the room. He was aged about thirty-eight, clean-shaven and dark, with a sharp nose, restless eyes and a lock of hair that tumbled over his forehead. The mysterious visitor listened awhile then, satisfied that Ivan was alone, entered the room. As he came in Ivan noticed that the man was wearing hospital clothes–pyjamas, slippers and a reddish-brown dressing gown thrown over his shoulders. The visitor winked at Ivan, put a bunch of keys into his pocket and asked in a whisper : ‘ May I sit down? ‘ Receiving an affirmative reply he settled in the armchair. mhh ghrhlh khrhllkho f s h ohh iginitm s imipiq ktfs f qf hgnfkfqfogr fjj ii igig ngmgtgjk mg o gjgg j qgnfngfg g pt uiuq thtprk tg tptotftlp ktut hti lsith thtirioiifgg ih hf jf ofjfufqj lfpfk f l iulrmq lqms l fl rl ljum m m rmi mpm niqmkm nmk utps pfpnpjqu p mqrt kt mohqjq oqjqu qqulqp q kql sdjksdfsdfsdlgkj sdflkjsdf lksdjfsdfsdf

This excerpt of an e-mail I got put my life in perspective.

千夏様よりご契約頂き仲介させて頂いております。
申し遅れましたが、私、担当の小林と申します。

お2人様より契約金と致しまして10万円頂きました。
私は仲介ですので、千夏様とお会いして頂ければ貴方様へ7万円のご協力料金としてお支払い致します。

Below, just one out of many e-mails containing most prolific poetry.

hark drum bird cross year,
more cork, peace brass exact.

folly try mist
bye
Gerry Mendicino

So why have these, well, unsolicited e-mails managed to make their way into my inbox? They fulfil every criteria and have all the characteristics of a spam e-mail, and yet in the past few weeks, all of a sudden, I’m getting them in my inbox.

‘orrible, Goog.


Silicon Valley Facials

March 17, 2006
6 Comments

Following Valleywag’s facial comparison of Steve Ballmer and Harrison Ford, I find it inevitable to extend the feature to our most beloved/loathed Web 2.0 personalities.


Bargain Bin Laden

February 3, 2006
4 Comments

Seen at a shop in Perth, apparently.

P5140018.JPG

If I had a Bin Laden merchandise store, that’s most definitely what I’d call it.

In fact, I feel like opening one now that I’ve seen that.

Anyone want in?


Posted in Novelties

Flickr Spell

February 2, 2006
1 Comment

A bloke calling himself kastner – who will hereforth duly go by the name kastnr – has put together a little novelty script based on flickr. It’ll spell any word inserted into it with – you guessed it – flickr images.

Pointless, a waste of time and a delightfully refreshing way of presenting hyperbolic expletives.

Why the originator still hasn’t removed the letter ‘e’ from his name is preposterous to Schadenfreude, and continues to be an unsolved mystery. May Web 2.0 put a terrible curse upon him!