Schadenfreude

Penetrating My Private Parts (you guessed it: punfest)

March 30, 2006
1 Comment

I get a lot of spam, and I’m sure you do too. Right now I’ve got 954 of them sitting in my spam folder. It doesn’t usually bother me as it’s mostly picked up by the spam filter, but in the last few days and weeks I’ve been getting all sorts of spam in my inbox. They’re as blatantly spamerific as any other e-mail that does get picked up by the filter, so why these e-mails have has recently managed to penetrate the system beats me (puns intended, indeed).

And now, some SEXUAL-EXPLICITNESS for your perusal.

hi,
video with little girls which sit on man’s shocking size kokz
it’s unreal sizes ;-)

I even got a little story! Unfortunately, though, it ends up in a flurry of indistinguishable phrases, which I can only assume to be the writer having his wiener smacked to the keyboard in an integral facet of him and his girlfriend’s weekly S&M bout. That, or the story depicted in this little novel is in fact a guy live-blogging himself. Oh, these spammers. They’re all nuts!

Behold the ‘orrible Faggot!

drowned in the ensuing uproar. The police ran to the Sempleyarovs’ box, curious spectators climbed on to the ledge to watch, there were explosions of infernal laughter and wild cries, drowned by the golden crash of cymbals from the orchestra. Suddenly the stage was empty. The horrible Faggot and the sinister cat Behemoth melted into the air and disappeared, just as the magician had vanished earlier in his shabby armchair. Ivan swung his legs off the bed and stared. A man was standing on the balcony, peering cautiously into the room. He was aged about thirty-eight, clean-shaven and dark, with a sharp nose, restless eyes and a lock of hair that tumbled over his forehead. The mysterious visitor listened awhile then, satisfied that Ivan was alone, entered the room. As he came in Ivan noticed that the man was wearing hospital clothes–pyjamas, slippers and a reddish-brown dressing gown thrown over his shoulders. The visitor winked at Ivan, put a bunch of keys into his pocket and asked in a whisper : ‘ May I sit down? ‘ Receiving an affirmative reply he settled in the armchair. mhh ghrhlh khrhllkho f s h ohh iginitm s imipiq ktfs f qf hgnfkfqfogr fjj ii igig ngmgtgjk mg o gjgg j qgnfngfg g pt uiuq thtprk tg tptotftlp ktut hti lsith thtirioiifgg ih hf jf ofjfufqj lfpfk f l iulrmq lqms l fl rl ljum m m rmi mpm niqmkm nmk utps pfpnpjqu p mqrt kt mohqjq oqjqu qqulqp q kql sdjksdfsdfsdlgkj sdflkjsdf lksdjfsdfsdf

This excerpt of an e-mail I got put my life in perspective.

千夏様よりご契約頂き仲介させて頂いております。
申し遅れましたが、私、担当の小林と申します。

お2人様より契約金と致しまして10万円頂きました。
私は仲介ですので、千夏様とお会いして頂ければ貴方様へ7万円のご協力料金としてお支払い致します。

Below, just one out of many e-mails containing most prolific poetry.

hark drum bird cross year,
more cork, peace brass exact.

folly try mist
bye
Gerry Mendicino

So why have these, well, unsolicited e-mails managed to make their way into my inbox? They fulfil every criteria and have all the characteristics of a spam e-mail, and yet in the past few weeks, all of a sudden, I’m getting them in my inbox.

‘orrible, Goog.

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Incompetent Business Receives Unmerited Attention

March 24, 2006
2 Comments

Lifehacker reports today that “Ajax word processor ajaxWrite tries to bring the look and feel of Microsoft Word to your browser.”

Most of the advanced features are apparently left out, it doesn’t have collaborative features of Writely, currently lacks a spellchecker and doesn’t allow us to save our documents online.

Wh-what? I can’t save my documents online? Are you telling me that instead of firing up a lightweight Windows word processor like Notepad, Wordpad or Word, I should load up my browser, go to the ajaxWrite site, write my document, save it to the comp, and then use whichever method I prefer to upload it to the internet/e-mail it?

ajaxWrite have decided to embrace us with the amiability of putting in more obstacles in the document writing process, and at the same time – quite bleedin’ impudently, if you ask me – offer us only the most basic of features?

Am I missing something? Tell me if I am.

If I amn’t: ajaxWrite, sod off. Take your bloody VC money, your talented developers and marvellous board room of leaders and please, pretty please – go broke. You’re probably not making much money on this, you’re not offering something new; in fact, you’re offering a service poorer than the ones we already have, and there are no additional or complimentary features that seperate your product apart from even fucking Word 2000.

If you have plans of “expanding” your business into new “areas” and adding “collaborative” features to the application in “near future”, you’ve lost. Look up on recent Google aqcuisitions and you’ll know why your business was antecedently cadaverous. By that I insinuate that you didn’t have a bloody single thing to fare with from the get-go.

Again, a little because I like the schwung of it and a little more because you deserve to be repeatedly smashed in the head with it: SOD OFF.


Unceremonious Tendencies

March 21, 2006
2 Comments

I just came across this on Congoo‘s website:

*Congoo members can view FREE articles every month from each partn site!
The number of free articles per month varies by publisher.

Partnr? The removal of vowels has now been extended into not only regular text, but small print?

This smells rather vigorously of a Web 2.0 company not taking itself too seriously.

Pinch me, will you?


Shocker! Blatant PR Stunt Pose as Elaborate Google Lawsuit

March 20, 2006
2 Comments

Parental advice site Kinderstart.com filed a lawsuit against Google earlier this week (coincidentally the same day of the US government vs. Google trial) on the background of their Google Pagerank having dropped unexpectedly and without warning. The result: a 70% drop in traffic and a subsequent loss of 80% in advertisement income.

Kinderstart

Kinderstart’s argument is that their pagerank was dropped not because of an automatic algorithm, but a subjective opinion within Google that their company shouldn’t be considered “serious”.

Read the full story on Reuters.

One of the motives behind the lawsuit could be that the only way of proving Kinderstart wrong would be for Google to show the court how their algorithm works, effectively revealing their trade secrets to the public, and, more importantly, their competitors. Basically, Kinderstart’s saying: “give in to our demands or risk having to expose your secrets to the world”.

Another motive―and an even more obvious one―is of course the increased attention and traffic this kind of exposure will bring to their site. The search engine allegedly counted 10 million page views per month-no statement was made, however, on whether that number includes the page views after the suit was filed. Kinderstart’s Alexa stats also conflict with this figure.

Google

It’s quite obvious. Kinderstart thinks this is a win-win situation, as the income and exposure this case will give them way exceeds the amount of money they’ll have to shell out in case of a loss.

Bloody blatant, innit? It’s an astonoshingly silly lawsuit even when they try to justify it to the best of their lawyers’ ability, and they’ll have a lot of negative press especially from the blogoshere. Then again, bloggers are way out of Kinderstart’s demographic, so they’ll more than likely end up better off after this case than they were before.


Silicon Valley Facials

March 17, 2006
6 Comments

Following Valleywag’s facial comparison of Steve Ballmer and Harrison Ford, I find it inevitable to extend the feature to our most beloved/loathed Web 2.0 personalities.


Iron My Shirt, Bitch

March 17, 2006
3 Comments

One of the funniest things I’ve seen in a while.

Male Chauvinist Prank

Brave. I think I’ll try something like this myself; standing in a crowded SXSW panel with a sign saying “BRING BACK TABLES, DOUCHEBAGS”.

Mr Shea would put a bullet in my head.


A Couple of Extra Zeros Would Look Good

March 14, 2006
4 Comments

The Shared Spaces blog entry contemplates whether or not the apparent number of 650,000 “total requests” is the actual number of sign-ups, or if it was simply the accumulated number of workers employed at the companies related to the person that signed up. It may not be very important, and it may be common practice in several industries. It still leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.


Sterile Syndication

March 14, 2006
3 Comments

I agree with Phil when he says RSS readers are a sterile environment, but I don’t share his general contempt towards them. In the past month, for the first time ever, I’ve used an RSS aggregator consistently, usually several times a day.

I’ve currently got 53 feeds that I follow more or less closely, but there’s only a handful I can really say that I need. And one thing that strikes me is that I’ve started reading a lot more blogs since I started using Bloglines. Previously I read about 10 or 15 regurarly and checked into memeorandum, reddit, digg, technorati et al. to keep up to date with the rest of the blogosphere.

Is that part of the problem with RSS readers―the fact that we’re being served excessive amounts of dispensible blog content? Or is this additional information a good thing, making the world of blogging less inbred?

Back to the subject of RSS reader sterility (we’re allowed to make up words in Web 2.0), I agree with Phil Sim – to an extent. The identity and flavor of each and every blog is pretty much lost in the average reader, and perhaps more importantly, as Phil points out himself, the comments are lost. The community and social interaction that really is the foundation of blogging in itself is given a lower priority and less attention through an RSS reader. At the same time, we’re able to read and process larger amounts of input at a faster pace than we would’ve been via regular browsing. But, hey, doesn’t that just add to the sentiment that RSS readers are sterile? Reading and processing large amounts of input at a fast pace doesn’t exactly entail vibrant communication, personal flavor etc. does it? It’s got ‘business’ written all over it (as well as stupid fucking Web 2.0 buzzwords that aren’t proper words).

A partial solution could be to implement an option to expand the comments of blog entries, making them viewable within the RSS reader itself. But as I said, it’s a partial solution, and it doesn’t really help the impersonal, neutral and business-like approach one takes through the use of and RSS reader.

Or does one do that? After all, it’s all about content―the written word―isn’t it?


Splurt, Squash, Squeeze

March 14, 2006
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The re-awakened Phil Sim is being even more excellent than he was before his blog burnout, and has made the frontpages of both reddit and tech.memeorandum during the time I continued his hiatus and took a blogging vacation myself.

Unless you’re not already aware, his blog Squash is mandatory input for anyone who’s interested in the general topic of internet businesses, Web 2.0, technology et al. His views are well-balanced, which isn’t to say about certain other high-profile bloggers.

This isn’t much of a blog entry, but it’s my way of getting the ball rolling. I’ve always struggled motivating myself to blog, but I wanna keep it up. I think one of the problems is that I haven’t really found a niche. This blog didn’t start out with the slogan “facetious Web 2.0 remarks” – in fact, I wasn’t into the whole internet technology/business scene at all before I created this blog. I’ve been a games writer for several years; that’s still sorta my place on the internet. I’ve lost interested in the games industry over the past few years, though, so induldging in more business-oriented fora has been quite refreshing.

Thing is, I’ve got loads of ideas and aspirations and enthusiasm about blogging that I hope to turn into profitable projects some time. I just wish I knew a little more about webdesign/publishing, had a lot more time on my hands and had less social obligations.

Then again, is it healthy to blog with an agenda? Should/does/will profitable blogs come from people whose sole motivation is love for the subject at hand? Have blogs come so far that they could be considered small businesses, big enough to be our main source of revenue? Is the blogoweb open for blogs that are created from a money-oriented standpoint with profit as a superior target?

Will you look at that. A rant that ends up with some interesting questions.


Reward Your Lack Of Aestethical Appreciation

March 6, 2006
1 Comment

You’ve heard the term ‘less is more’, and it’s a phrase that can definitely ring true in a lot of cases. Apply it to the subject of design and re-name it something like ‘uglier is better’―is it still a valid point? Scoble seems to think so. If I was looking for a dating service, chances are I’d go elsewhere because of the shitty, amateurish design. My first thoughts are that it’s half-arsed site without a whole lot value, and that its developers must be of the rather non-savvy, flinchingly ingorant kind.