Spam

Since January 24th, I’ve received 345 spam e-mails on my Gmail account.

Thankfully, they’re all being spam filtered (apart from the odd one or two) – but 345? Who sends these? Do they really get anything out of it? Does people still read them or follow their “advice”, let alone lend them even a fractional second of attention unless in the name of facetious blog entries such as this one?

I know I’m 68 years late posting this, but spam authors keep getting funnier by the day.

Robbie Nieves offers me a guaranteed increase in sexual desire (I’m covered in that area, thankyouverymuch). Ralph writes to tell me that he’ll cure any “desease” with Cialis, Viagra and Valium. I’ll make sure I tell my HIV-infected friend. Louella Warren is convincing in her attempt to sell me SPERMAMAX, a scientifically validated herbal nutritional blend that will, among other things, improve the spontaneous motion of my sperms. And finally, “exotic hotties from India have been trained in the ways of the Kama Sutra. They charm big trouser snakes with their Tantric charms.” Reading this, I strongly contemplated ordering a two-way to Delhi.

The phrase “It’s not the same old stuff with these curry-fed cuties” secured it.

The Internets flabbergasts me.

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Posted in The Internets